The most annoying question in the world has to be, "why?". It is annoying when it’s asked of us. As kids we annoyed parents and teachers alike with a constant barrage of whys and now our kids do the same to us. And it is equally annoying when we are asking it. We all hate why because it can so seldom be answered and in most cases leads to another, Why?
Not only is it annoying, it can be frustrating, continuous, and often times painful. We all have our own set of whys. Why did he leave? Why did she hurt me? Why did this or that happen to me? All of these heartbreaking questions are rarely answered and if they ever are it is never to our satisfaction. Why rarely leads to understanding.
I have a personal 'why' with God. It’s not a 'why did this happen?' or a 'why did you let that happen?', no, mine is much more basic. I can’t for the life of me figure out why God loves me. You ever think of that? We really don’t bring anything to the table. There is nothing we can do for Him, nothing we can give Him he doesn’t already have, and nothing we can get Him that He needs. And, if you are anything like me, I am usually more interested in what He can do for me anyway. I don’t talk to Him enough, don’t spend enough time with Him and most of the time He gets what I have leftover. Why, in the world does He love me?
And this brings me to adoption. I think that God is continually teaching me through this process, teaching me about Him. Because anyone who has been a parent could at least in a small way, relate to God as a parent. We have these kids who can’t do anything for us, don’t bring much to the table (although it is nice when they are big enough to mow the lawn!), and are always wanting more from their parents-- and yet we love them. But, I would counter, they are my kids. They have been with me from the beginning of their lives, they look like me and too often act like me. That is why I do what I do for them.
But not so anymore. My two new kids don't look a thing like me. They don’t talk like me, dress like me, act like me, and we share no history. And yet we are trying to move heaven and earth to bring them home. It doesn't make any sense on paper. And so once again I have no answer for the question, 'why?'.
I bet this is why God gave us this verse However, as it is written:
“No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him”– but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.
The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. (1 Corinthians 2:9-11 NIV84)
We can never know how much or why God loves us, but He promises that He does. That is what we are to rest in knowing. That He does. And it is my prayer that He uses our adoption to teach us about how He adopted us. Just as He now uses Zach and Liz to teach me about how He is a Father to me.
Please keep us in your prayers as we get closer to Ethiopia. Karie and I go this week to get our last set of fingerprints done for the USCIS. Pray specifically for a quick turnaround on our Favorable Determination Letter. Once we receive this we can send our dossier to the Ethiopian government and wait for our first travel date. And hopefully this will focus us on more important questions than why, like "when?" and then God willing, "How?" :)
Thank You for Your Prayers,
Brian
